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shemar
Joined: 29 May 2012
Posts: 1
Location: Malawi
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 I have no one in my life, and have nothing to live for and f
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I have been feeling extremely down and just want to die, i have been self harming and don't see the point in living anymore. I have been pushing everyone away recently and feel so lonely i guess that it's just because i don't want to hurt them, as i screw up everything and am stupid . I have really low self-esteem and almost no confidence. I am shy and can't talk to anyone in person as a friend, or on the phone, unless it is sexual. I'm scared of how people will treat me. I feel tired all of the time and don't have the energy to do anything, i feel worthless and hopeless and there's no point in the future as things will only go wrong. I have lost interest and don't want to go out the house to school but i drag myself out because i know that i have to :/ I have very little appetite and am restless. I can't concentrate on simple thing i could before as i am distracted by my thoughts. i have just given up trying at college. I feel everyone is out to get me and that i deserve to be punished as i am a bad person. I dont have my own home and I can't talk to anyone so i just keep everything bottled up as i have no Trust in people anymore i have been let down to many times, I get really angry with myself and blame myself for everything ... I just want to know whats wrong with me and whyy do i wreck everything? I have to put a fake smile on and last thought the day but i don't know how much longer i can do this i just want to break down and cry, i cry myself at sleep tonight as i don't want anyone to see me cry Whats wrong with me and why am i acting like an idiot, i Don't know who or what i am anymore and i am scared. people try to help but i push them away i can't trust people. I feel everyone is out to get me! I don't see the point of living anymore i may as well just go and die  What wrong with me? I am 20 and feel pathetic
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technorattan
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